Overheard in the house

Without naming names...

"Prepare for your mission."

Followed by the sound of the dryer door being opened.

"I don't think his arm is supposed to bend that far back." Myles

"It's ok. He hasn't started crying yet." John Thomas

"If you jump from the 4th step it won't hurt...if you jump from the 8th step you're taking a chance." Myles

"I didn't mean to push your face in the sand...I was helping you look for sand crabs." John Thomas

"You're a good looking baby Jax, but not as good looking as me." Myles

BETWEEN JOHN THOMAS & MYLES a couple of months after Jax was born....

Myles - Do you think Mommy will have more babies?
JT - Maybe, but not for awhile.
Myles - Why not?
JT - She just had a baby Myles and she needs to shrink.

BETWEEN JOHN THOMAS, MYLES & DADDY while daddy was swimming with the boys.

Myles laughing hysterically.
John - What's so funny?
Myles - Your boobies shake when you swim.
John - Trying to focus the attention elsewhere - Yeah, well mommy's boobies shake too.
John Thomas - Yeah, but hers are supposed to shake, yours aren't.

"It's ok if Thomas has a girlfriend. I have a Love Lady too." Myles


While at a restaurant, the waitress forgot Myles' cheese quesadilla.

Myles - (Insert loud sigh and whine but with manners to waitress) Excuse me, but you forgot my cheese quesadilla and now I'm going to starve to death.
John Thomas - Here Myles, have some of my rice and beans.
Myles - I don't want your rice and beans Thomas.
John Thomas - Fine....starve to death. You're not my only brother - I've got spares.

Mommy - Stop hitting your brother.

Could be any child - I was doing it gently.

Mommy - I don't care if you're gentle or not, don't hit your brother.

Mommy - "STOP WITH THE WEDGIES!!!!!"

John Thomas - I'm an alien. Take me to your leader.

Myles - She's in the kitchen making dinner.

Myles to Mommy - Daddy thinks you're hot.

John Thomas - Of course he does, they're married. He has to think that.

Having been caught cuddling (and for married people with children, you know that cuddling means cuddling, for people without children, get your minds out of the gutter)....

John Thomas - Are you two going to wrestle?

Mommy (calling to check on the boys) What are you doing?

John Thomas - Well, I was watering my tomatoes but Myles grabbed the hose and watered the house.

Mommy - What do you mean, watered the house?

John Thomas - Well, the drapes are wet and the floor is slippery.

Mommy - Where's your father?

John Thomas - He's trying to clean up the mess before you come home.