A few weeks ago I must have had a psychotic break because I willingly took John Thomas & Myles with me to go shopping for back to school clothes. In theory the plan was simple: get in and hit 2 key department stores having solid sales, grab a few things and be out within an hour, 2 max. Reality, unlike theory, tends to throw a few unplanned variables into the equation.
The first store I focused on John Thomas and allowed input and suggestions as I pointed out prices and talked about how there really isn't a need for any human being to have 10 shirts of the same color. And for the most part John Thomas was pretty easy going. Myles, who I must acknowledge has his own sense of style, was jonesing for me to focus my attention on him. After a couple of "criss cross applesauce" announcements in which Myles actually listened and plopped on the floor to wait for me, I could tell that we were headed in the direction of meltdown and I needed to act quick.
I gathered my items and went to stand in line, instructing both boys to sit in the chair. The chair of course, which was placed right next to a huge gumball machine. Can I just take a moment to ask who the genius in the store is that thought "hey, lets put a big gumball machine in the children's clothing section of the store....I bet parents will really appreciate it." WRONG.
So now, in addition to having to consistently say, "sit down, I'll be done in a moment" I also had to add into the mix, "No, I don't have any change for a gumball" or "No you're going to ruin your dinner."
I now have fidgeting boys, an unattainable item within arms length that they must look at but not touch and then to top it all off and complete the trifecta, the saleslady who was just a bit too personable as she turned into Chatty Cathy while slowly scanning my items. I smiled and attempted to show my appreciation to her detail but I really didn't need to be sold on why I was getting a good deal on Billabong swim trunks at 60% off. Somehow God must have taken pity on me because just when I thought all hope was lost, she handed me my receipt and the boys quietly walked over to help with the bags. Myles looked up at me and said, "Now it's my turn, right Mommy?" and off we went.
Shopping with Myles is more challenging than John Thomas. John Thomas' philosophy about clothing is basically, less is more but I'll wear what you put out. Myles however has an opinion about his clothes. He knows what he likes and doesn't like and he has no problem sharing his opinion with you. Where as I only really needed John Thomas to try on one or two items for sizing, Myles asked to try on stuff. And more than once I heard from him, "I look good". The look on John Thomas' face was priceless. He rolled his eyes and shook his head at his brother's obvious state of self admiration.
Finally nearly 4 hours later I was able to get out of the store with my sanity barely in tact, having come to the conclusion that unless I'm shopping for shoes for the boys, I'm going it alone.